|
Animal Diaries
DOG
DIARY
8:00 am
- Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am
- A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am
- A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am
- Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 PM
- Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 PM
- Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 PM
- Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 PM
- Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 PM
- Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 PM
- Watched TV with my people! My favourite thing!
11:00 PM
- Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day
983 of my captivity
My captors
continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep
up my strength.
The only
thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates
what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments
about what a "good little hunter" I am.
B------ds!
There was
some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I
was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors
by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced
that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog
receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird
has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....
for now.
|
